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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his conduct, making him especially susceptible to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits online – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. But, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t previously arrived at that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

Though people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what is meant by the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people hide it, as there is so much stigma linked to the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While three-quarters of people found to have the condition are men, studies suggests this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and being turned down,” she says, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I often enter defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Even with this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples during development. “I’ve been learning continuously the difference between suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his doctor, he was directed to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (extended treatment is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the growth of NPD content creators and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number